Understanding the Unique Experiences of Parenting and Miscarriage: Charis Ow's Story

In her interview with Mothercare, Charis hopes to create awareness around parenting and miscarriage 

The moment a new parent finds out they are expecting a baby can be one of the most joyous experiences of their lifetime. Unfortunately, sometimes that joy is short-lived, as miscarriages can occur.  

Charis Ow shared with us that when it comes to parenting and miscarriage, it's crucial to be aware of the unique experiences that everyone may go through. 

"We decided to share it to open up this taboo topic to help other mothers and parents out there and tell them you are not alone," said Charis. 

Charis and her husband experienced two miscarriages and have shared their story to help other mothers who may be going through the same thing.

Charis stated that the first miscarriage was unexpected and challenging to process. She and her husband had been trying for a baby for a few months and were excited to learn the good news.  

However, during the first few weeks of the pregnancy, the baby's heartbeat rate was slowing down heart. Unfortunately, after two weeks, the heart had stopped, and they were unprepared for the sudden loss.  

Charis and her husband decided to open up about the taboo topic and share their story to help other mothers go through the same thing.  

After their first miscarriage, Charis and her husband continued to try again and experienced another miscarriage. They learned about the pregnancy in April, and everything was going well until Charis shared bleeding one night. She went to the toilet, saw spotting, and was rushed to the emergency room, where she was given a progesterone shot.

They were advised to see their gynaecologist the next day, and they discovered that the baby's heartbeat had also stopped. The waiting period was difficult and filled with anxiety.

Charis and her husband processed the experience in their own way and found solace in their faith and support system. They both had premarital counsellors and friends who could provide emotional support, which helped them cope with the loss and move forward.  

"I think what helped us going, for Daryll and myself, was a good support system," said Charis. 

Charis even attended her best friend's wedding a day after the miscarriage. The couple also began to take steps to ensure the health of their future pregnancies. Charis became more diligent in taking supplements such as folic acid and vitamin D. After the miscarriage in June, they decided to try again. Charis signed up for two acupuncture sessions, which she believes may have contributed to regulating her period cycle.

Fortunately, Charis was able to experience a successful pregnancy before Christmas 2022 and shared the importance of listening to one's heart and seeking professional help if needed. She and her husband also sought an experienced gynaecologist who could provide detailed information and allow Charis to continue with her regular activities.

Overall, Charis' story serves as a reminder to be aware of the unique experiences of parenting and miscarriage. Charis and her husband took the initiative to share their story and create awareness around this topic in hopes of helping others who may be going through the same thing.  

It is important to remember that no two experiences are the same and to be mindful of the sensitivity surrounding this issue.  

"Try to refrain from asking your friends or loved ones when they will have children—you may not know they have been trying or experienced a miscarriage. Ask (instead) about the weather, hobbies, or Netflix," Charis said lightheartedly. 

Another piece of advice for parents still trying is not to give up easily and keep their faith. 

"We have not given up; I'm five months pregnant. I am happy at the same time, cautious. Because of the past experience, we prepare for the worst in our heads. We trust God; we shouldn't let the past hinder us from celebrating this joy." 

Coping with the Pain of a Miscarriage: What to Know and What to Do  

A miscarriage is the loss of a pregnancy before the 20th week of gestation and is a heartbreaking experience for many parents. The causes of miscarriages are often unknown and can happen to any woman at any stage of her pregnancy.  

Miscarriages are more common in the early stages of pregnancy and can be caused by various factors, including chromosomal abnormalities, lifestyle choices, and health issues.  

The physical and emotional symptoms of a miscarriage can vary from woman to woman. Common physical signs of a miscarriage include vaginal bleeding and cramping. Emotional symptoms can range from feelings of sadness and shock to feelings of guilt and regret. It is crucial for parents who have experienced a miscarriage to give themselves time and space to grieve the loss of their baby.  

It is also advisable to seek support from friends, family, and healthcare professionals. Talking about the loss and the emotions that come with it can be a great way to help cope with the pain and sadness. It is important to remember that miscarriages are not uncommon, and many women experience them. It is also important to remember that it is okay to feel all the emotions of a miscarriage.  

It is also okay to take time to heal and move forward. Finally, it is essential to remember that no two parents experience a miscarriage the same way. Everyone will deal with the loss in their own way, which is okay. Recognising that there is no "right" way to grieve is also essential. Having a miscarriage can be a challenging experience for any parent. It is important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to deal with the loss. It is also important to remember to take time to grieve and to reach out for support. 

Debunking Myths on Miscarriage 

Miscarriage is a sensitive and personal topic that can be difficult to discuss, but new parents must understand the facts of miscarriage. Unfortunately, there is a lot of misinformation out there; during the interview with Charis, we pinpointed and discussed some myths versus points on miscarriage.  

Myth: Miscarriage is caused by stress.  

Fact: While stress can be a factor in other pregnancy complications, it does not cause miscarriage. Research has not been able to find a link between stress and miscarriage.  

Myth: Miscarriage is a sign that something is wrong with the mother or the baby.  

Fact: The majority of miscarriages occur due to chromosomal abnormalities, which means that the baby is not developing healthily. This is often a result of random chance and is not caused by anything the mother did or didn't do.  

Myth: Miscarriage is rare.  

Fact: Miscarriage is actually more common than many people think. It is estimated that about 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, most of which occur in the first trimester.  

Myth: Miscarriage is something that only happens to older women.  

Fact: While it is true that women over the age of 35 are more likely to experience a miscarriage, women of any age can experience a miscarriage.  

Myth: Women who have had a miscarriage cannot become pregnant again.  

Fact: Most women who have had a miscarriage can become pregnant again, and the chance of experiencing another miscarriage is usually no higher than that of any other woman.  

Myth: A woman should avoid intercourse or physical activity if she has had a miscarriage.  

Fact: Depending on the circumstances, a doctor may advise a woman to avoid certain activities for some time, but typically, it is safe to resume normal activities as soon as the woman feels up to it.  

We hope that this article has helped to dispel some of the myths surrounding miscarriage and has provided a better understanding of the facts. Though it is a complicated topic, new parents must know the facts surrounding miscarriage. If you have experienced a miscarriage, it is good to remember that it is not your fault and that you are not alone