It’s bedtime. You’ve dimmed the lights, tucked your toddler into their cosy pyjamas, and read the same story (for the third time). Somehow, instead of drifting off, they’re bouncing on the bed, asking for another drink, or breaking into tears.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Bedtime resistance is one of the most common challenges parents of toddlers face. In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics estimates that up to half of children experience bedtime struggles.

But the reality is not bleak. With understanding and consistency, most sleep battles can be eased. In this guide, we’ll explore why toddlers resist sleep, how to recognise signs of overtiredness, and strategies fellow warriors (mums and dads) can use to restore calmer evenings.

At mothercare Malaysia, we believe every parent deserves support—and every child deserves sweet dreams.

Why Do Toddlers Resist Sleep?

Toddler sleep resistance isn’t a sign that something is “wrong”. It’s often a combination of natural development, shifting routines, and big emotions. Let’s look at the most common reasons:

1. Developmental Leaps

As toddlers grow, their brains and bodies are changing rapidly. Major milestones like learning new words, walking, or problem-solving can make them more alert and harder to settle. As the brain is preoccupied with processing new skills, sleep can feel less appealing when there’s so much to practise.

2. Separation Anxiety

Around 18–24 months, many toddlers experience strong attachment to their parents. Bedtime can trigger anxiety because it means separation. Instead of sleep, they may cry, call for you, or climb out of bed to be near you.

3. Fear and Imagination

As imagination develops, toddlers may begin fearing the dark, monsters, or being alone. These worries are real to them, even if they seem small to adults.

4. Overtiredness

It may sound contradictory, but being overtired can make toddlers more energetic. When they miss naps or go to bed too late, their bodies release stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. The result is a wired, restless child who struggles to fall asleep.

5. Lack of Routine

Consistent routines signal to toddlers that bedtime is coming. Without predictable cues, children may resist because they don’t feel ready to wind down. Read: The Dos and Don'ts of Sleep Training Your Toddler.

6. Testing Boundaries

Toddlers are learning independence and control. Saying “no” to bedtime or asking for endless “one more story” requests is often a way of testing limits.

7. Environmental Factors

Noise, bright lights, overstimulating toys, or too much screen time close to bedtime can all interfere with a child’s ability to relax.

🌙 Understanding the why behind bedtime battles is the first step to making them easier.

Signs of Overtiredness in Toddlers

Sometimes toddlers resist sleep not because they’re not tired, but because they’re too tired. Here are signs your toddler may be overtired:

• Rubbing eyes or ears

• Yawning repeatedly

• Increased clinginess or irritability

• Sudden bursts of hyperactivity

• Difficulty focusing or completing tasks

• Meltdowns over small frustrations

⚠️ If these signs happen too frequently, it may be worth adjusting naps or bedtime to prevent your child from becoming overtired before sleep.

Healthy Sleep Needs for Toddlers

According to the Sleep Foundation, toddlers need 11–14 hours of total sleep in 24 hours, including naps. By age 3, many children transition from two naps to one, which can affect bedtime readiness.

🛏️ Consistency in bedtime and wake-up times helps regulate your toddler’s internal body clock, also known as their circadian rhythm. Occasional sleep regressions may happen at this age, causing temporary disruptions in your toddler’s sleep.

How Parents Can Cope: Practical Strategies

Here are evidence-backed strategies to reduce bedtime battles and help toddlers get the rest they need:

1. Create a Predictable Routine

A calm, consistent routine helps toddlers transition from active play to restful sleep. Facilitating this might include:

• Bath time 

• Brushing teeth

• Storytime 

• A cuddle or song before lights out

Try to follow the same steps every evening. Repetition gives toddlers a sense of security.

2. Set a Consistent Bedtime

Choose a bedtime that ensures your child gets enough sleep and stick to it— even on weekends. Consistency reinforces their internal body clock.

3. Reduce Stimulation Before Bed

This involves:

• Turning off screens at least an hour before bedtime

• Dimming lights and reduce noise

• Switching to quiet play or reading instead of active games

💡 Blue light from tablets and phones can interfere with melatonin, the sleep hormone.

4. Provide Comfort and Reassurance

If separation anxiety is the issue, offer comfort without creating new habits that are hard to maintain. For example:

• Sit quietly in the room until your child feels calm, then gradually reduce your presence over time

• Reassure with calm, gentle words

🧸 If your child has a comfort object like a soft toy, this is a healthy and effective way to extend reassurance, as it helps them feel secure even when you’re not right beside them.

5. Address Fears Gently

If fears arise, validate them. Avoid dismissing with “There’s nothing to be scared of.” Instead, say:

• “I know the dark feels big. Let’s turn on your night-light.”

• “You’re safe, and Mummy/Daddy is right nearby.”

🌟 Night-lights, soft music, or a bedtime ritual like “monster checks” can ease bedtime fears.

6. Encourage Daytime Activity

Plenty of active play during the day helps toddlers burn energy, making it easier to sleep at night. Outdoor play, running, climbing, and exploring all support healthy sleep. Choosing engaging but calming toys for quiet time can also support better sleep routines.

7. Watch Naps Carefully

While naps are important, too much daytime sleep can make bedtime more challenging. Most toddlers need:

• 1–2 naps per day until around 18 months

• 1 afternoon nap between ages 2–3

⏱️ Adjust nap length or timing if your child is consistently fighting bedtime.

8. Stay Calm and Consistent

Toddlers are experts at picking up on parent emotions. Staying calm and confident at bedtime reassures them. If you become stressed, bedtime can turn into a power struggle.

💬 Gentle firmness, like calmly repeating bedtime rules without giving in to endless requests, builds healthy boundaries.

When to Seek Professional Support

Most sleep struggles resolve with time and consistency. However, speak to your paediatrician if:

• Your toddler snores loudly or has pauses in breathing during sleep

• They are consistently sleeping far less than recommended and seem very fatigued

• Bedtime battles cause extreme stress for the family despite consistent routines

• There are other developmental concerns alongside sleep problems

👩⚕️ Healthcare professionals can rule out medical issues like sleep apnoea or reflux and provide guidance tailored to your situation.

Caring for Yourself as a Parent

Sleep battles don’t just affect toddlers—they impact parents too. Exhaustion, frustration, and stress are common. It’s important to:

• Share responsibilities if possible, alternating bedtime routines with a partner

• Take breaks during the day to recharge

• Seek support from family, friends, or parenting groups

🌸 Remember, caring for yourself helps you care better for your child.

Sweet Dreams Ahead with mothercare Malaysia

Toddler sleep battles can feel endless, but they are a normal part of development. With patience, structure, and lots of love, most children learn to settle and rest peacefully.

🌟 The giggles before bed, the final “one more hug,” and even the bedtime delays are part of childhood’s fleeting moments. With calm reassurance and consistent routines, your toddler will get the rest they need. And so will you.

At mothercare Malaysia, we’re here to support every family through bedtime and beyond. From bathing needs and comfort toys to expert advice, we’re with you at every stage.

💬 Want personalised guidance? Our digital nursery advisors are always here to help. Visit us online or in-store to explore tools that make sleep a little easier, and nights a lot calmer.